Mindset. It’s an issue many of us struggle with at some point in our lives. If you’re anything like me, mindset – and the need for a mindset shift – comes up over and over – often at the most unexpected of times. You may look at people who are confident, have accomplished big things in their work and life, and wonder, “Why is it so hard for me and not for them?”
Today, we’re going to talk about one subtle mindset shift I see often that makes a massive difference in both confidence levels and outcomes.
Read this first set of statements:
- “We are working to form a new team, but aren’t there yet. We’re still figuring out how we’re going to work together.”
- “I have so much self-doubt, it doesn’t matter that I look confident on the outside.”
- “I’m just a mom, so I don’t have much to offer.”
Compare those statements to these:
- “We’ve made a huge change and formed a new team. Now we’re figuring out how to work together.
- “I’m a confident person who is learning what that means, even when I feel a lot of self-doubt.”
- “My experience as a mom gives me varied life skills to tackle anything.”
You might quickly read through these and think, “Sarah, really? What’s the difference? They’re saying the same thing.”
Well, they are. And they most definitely aren’t.
What’s the difference?
The two sets of statements have fundamentally different positioning.
How you position yourself makes a difference.
Several months ago, I was in a situation where my job fundamentally changed overnight. There was little guidance in the transition, and I spent a few weeks waiting for additional direction and for the change to become clearer and easier.
Eventually, I got to the point where the pain of “in the process of changing” and waiting for additional direction was worse than adopting a position that “The change has happened. Time to figure out how to make it work.”
I figured it out. The process was messy, but several months later, I’m in a vastly different place in the best of ways.
The one thing I would do differently? Making the choice to adopt the mindset shift sooner. We can’t change the circumstances around us. We can only change how we view our circumstances, and how our view affects our actions.
How do you mentally frame a major shift?
The change happened. It is. There’s still a lot of work to be done to implement the changes, but this mindset is from a position of strength and authority.
“The new team is formed. Now we simply need to figure out how to work together.”
As opposed to:
A mindset that sees the change as in process. This positioning starts out with the mindset that it’s a long, uphill battle to be fought and won.
We are working to form a new team, and still have a lot of work to do to figure out how we’re going to work together.
Which is more powerful and likely to succeed?
The position of confidence, strength and “I am” (or “We are”).
Words matter. And subtle changes in wording have significant changes in mindset.
What’s your position? Are you operating from a position of “we are” vs “we’re working on”?
Maybe you’re thinking, “Yeah, yeah, that all sounds good for you. But it would never work for me. I don’t feel that way at all.” That’s okay. Can I encourage you to try it anyway? Give it one week of conscious effort. What do you have to lose? After that week, If you’re no worse off than you were before you started, give it another week. And another. Eventually the feelings will follow.
Decide today to operate from a position of “I am” vs “I’m trying to be.”